r/Tinder Oct 01 '22 Are You Serious? 1 Silver 1 Helpful 1

Matched w this girl on Tinder. Convo moved to ig. She asks if we can 'play a game' if/when we meet and then says the most self-absorbed thing i've ever heard.

Post image
22.0k Upvotes

5.3k

u/washingtonbreadskins Oct 01 '22

I LiKE tO pLaY mY gAmE

1.2k

u/Daetra Oct 01 '22

Game over.

1.7k

u/chrisrayn Oct 01 '22 Silver Helpful Wholesome hehehehe Starry

According to her thumbnail, she doesn’t attract attention because she’s like Jigsaw, but because everybody probably thinks she looks like Harry Potter’s time traveling great grandmother from the Victorian era and their children are asking if they can go say hi to Harry Potter and they are having to explain that it’s a girl and not Harry Potter and please just eat their fucking French fries and chicken tenders because the movie starts in 15 minutes and yes they know they aren’t like the chicken tenders at home but they have to fucking leave or NOBODY gets to see Minions today.

225

u/SlightEdge9 Oct 01 '22

Exactly my thoughts 😂, she does captivate people’s attention but not for the reasons she thinks, people are probably wondering why there’s a diluted Frida Kahlo looking Victorian stray in the room.

35

u/chrisrayn Oct 01 '22

TS Eliot’s lesser-accomplished sister that introduced herself to everyone as a “practicing wiccan and astrology expert”.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

326

u/Damet_Dave Oct 01 '22 Wholesome Bravo Grande!

I would agree to play her game provided that she would play mine when hers is done.

Her: Unmm, what’s your game?

Me: I put on my robe and wizard hat…

124

u/mrflouch Oct 01 '22

BDnDSM

15

u/Khanman5 Oct 01 '22

This whole thing qualifies for its own chapter in the bDSM-5. That's all I'm saying.

→ More replies
→ More replies

41

u/After-Cold-4689 Oct 01 '22

Oh man you deserve about 1000 upvotes for this reference

→ More replies
→ More replies

65

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

→ More replies

81

u/ohowdyd39 Oct 01 '22

She better be an absolute smoke show lmao

37

u/b_boy99 Oct 01 '22

This is what everyone dont get - shes an absolute smoke show … the gas coming outta her ass literally captivates everyone within 5km radius

→ More replies

9

u/KevinNashsTornQuad Oct 01 '22

I like to bind! I like to be bound!

→ More replies
→ More replies

9.9k

u/Okrobot Oct 01 '22 Wearing is Caring

Yikes… those are the ones that end up stabbing you.

2.6k

u/elegylegacy Oct 01 '22 Silver Helpful

"I want to play a game"

~Jigsaw

434

u/Theoricus Oct 01 '22 Helpful

I'm imagining her walking into a room waving her arms and screeching like a banshee.

147

u/lofgren777 Oct 01 '22

I figured releasing her sensuality is just flashing everybody and screaming, "Who wants to bang?"

→ More replies

127

u/Bayou_Blue Oct 01 '22

lets my sensuality flow with insane screaming

→ More replies

33

u/Sixersfan123987 Oct 01 '22

At the bar laughing by myself, thank you 🤣

→ More replies

33

u/Acidflare1 Oct 01 '22

I want to be in that crowd so I can boo

→ More replies

160

u/Mr_midnightmare Oct 01 '22

Exactly what I was thinking the whole time :)

→ More replies

80

u/MissedApex Oct 01 '22

She'll probably be more like Tiny Jigsaw and OP will have to use the world's deadliest mouse to get himself out of something dumb.

13

u/MaeneF Oct 01 '22

Okay I know this lady was serious. But thank you talking about Tiny Jigsaw! I’ve never of the tiny one just the movies. That was so cute and funny 😭😂. It made my day.

→ More replies
→ More replies

7

u/NeatFool Oct 01 '22

Some people are so ungrateful for the attention they receive, but not you...not anymore...

→ More replies

399

u/egati002 Oct 01 '22

Just watched Sins of our mother on Netflix and I see an alarming similarity :D

75

u/Mafer15 Oct 01 '22

What is that about?

235

u/egati002 Oct 01 '22

True crime story about a very crazy religious woman who believed she was "chosen" and did some pretty horrible things to her family. Check it out if you like true crime stories, it was very interesting.

25

u/Mafer15 Oct 01 '22

Thank you! I’ll find it

51

u/venomousgigamachina Oct 01 '22

That was really a good watch but damn why do religious people hear their friends talking about hearing voices and knowing who’s been possessed by demons and their response is “I thought they were just being spiritual” because that clearly is just insanity

5

u/council2022 Oct 01 '22

One super religious guy I know says aliens come to see him but they're really angels who shoot him up using huge hypodermics then afterwards he can turn invisible. He'll then go on a tirade about people eating pork and shellfish. Dude has like 50 guns and is a CI to local law enforcement. You have to wonder about the tales he tells about the people he's snitching on...

6

u/paridaegidreams Oct 01 '22

I thought the same thing. Her ranting on some of those recordings about hearing voices, I was shocked that nobody in that group, even for a second, thought, "she might be a little bit of a danger to herself or others..."

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

1.3k

u/NateHatred Oct 01 '22

Yeah but they usually teach you new ways of the seks before stabbing you. It's a matter of knowing when to nope out of that situation.

433

u/RevolutionaryStart70 Oct 01 '22

That may apply to some, but this one will have you drugged and tied up before you even realize what's happening

327

u/OrphanGrounderBaby Oct 01 '22

I haven’t seen a problem yet

203

u/willreignsomnipotent Oct 01 '22

"Awww, roofies? Can you maybe throw in a little ketamine or GHB? My tolerance has been creeping up lately, and I'm really trying to let go here..."

40

u/kosher-pickle Oct 01 '22

Why do they call them roofies? They should be called floories.

24

u/Anakin_NO_04 Oct 01 '22

Actually hold up, I think you're onto something... and it's not the floor

15

u/OrphanGrounderBaby Oct 01 '22

Maybe cause you find yourself on the floor but looking at the roof

→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/Mathlete86 Oct 01 '22

Was going to say this is just standard operating procedure.

→ More replies

84

u/Okrobot Oct 01 '22

If it’s the good drugs and the soft rope I’m in.

10

u/council2022 Oct 01 '22

Most good dope definitely gives you the soft rope

→ More replies

53

u/NateHatred Oct 01 '22

Didn't I just talk about the ways of the seks?

→ More replies
→ More replies

21

u/CodenameCoolBreeze Oct 01 '22

it’s a matter of knowing when to nope out

We’re seeing it. This is the moment.

165

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

Narcissists make you do all the work, not teach you.

42

u/Dyne_Inferno Oct 01 '22

Ding ding ding

→ More replies

43

u/Funderwoodsxbox Oct 01 '22 Wholesome

“Oh hey babe, you made it. oh what’s this? Oh this is a bouncer, and don’t mind the metal detector, the apartment complex has insisted everyone be searched before entry. He’ll be done in no time and you can come right in”

→ More replies
→ More replies

3.2k

u/AnnieDingo Oct 01 '22

Narcissist

1.3k

u/corndog Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22 Gold Helpful

No kidding. Sounds like something Dennis Reynolds would say

373

u/danielxjay Oct 01 '22

Tatiana, I want you to clean yourself. For I will enter you hard and deep, and it will last for as long or as short as I please. But you will be clean. Only when you are clean will you know my power.

84

u/Stealyourfacey Oct 01 '22

THIS is exactly what popped into my head haha

→ More replies
→ More replies

182

u/Okrobot Oct 01 '22

Back off! I’m trying to re-dennis this chick!

65

u/36anduponly Oct 01 '22

Frank what are you doing here, “getting some condoms…”

126

u/Okrobot Oct 01 '22

I got my magnum condoms, I got my wad of hundreds, I’m ready to ploooow.

62

u/washingtonbreadskins Oct 01 '22

Ooops! I stopped my Magnum condom that I use for my monster dong

28

u/Okrobot Oct 01 '22

You should see him feed. He’s like a mantis.

20

u/Wonberger Oct 01 '22

Oooooh that’s good! Call me mantis from now on!

18

u/IgnitablePilot Oct 01 '22

Actually, it's Mantis. Mantis Toboggan, M.D. I got your test results. You're positive. You got the HIV!

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

62

u/Far-Entrance-1377 Oct 01 '22

It's the implication.

33

u/Keltadin Oct 01 '22

Oh shit now he can't refuse.

33

u/johnplzza Oct 01 '22

Are... are these men in danger?

19

u/pm_me_tits_and_tats Oct 01 '22

Don’t look at her like that, you certainly wouldn’t be in any danger

13

u/BearBlaq Oct 01 '22

I’m sorry but I saw your username and just knew your account was old. I’m just glad my assumption was right lol, 16 years on here makes you a OG.

9

u/corndog Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

I have had the account for probably five years. I saw the account was abandoned and decided to try to guess the password - got it on the first try!

6

u/PythonPuzzler Oct 01 '22

God I hope it was "mustard".

I'm hungry.

→ More replies

182

u/feelsgoodbut Oct 01 '22

I had a drug fueled fling with a chick who was diagnosed BPD with strong narcissistic traits and she literally has almost this exact kink.

She also fantasises about there being “an army of people she knows, both boys AND girls (even just her friends) who are secretly obsessed with her and want her. She is straight and said she flirts with her platonic girlfriends just so they can maybe feel attracted to her.

Also said she loved the idea of me and my best mate smashing her at once while both just being captivated by her body and loving it.

This and so, so, so much more. The horror stories I have, my god. Narcissists want to be desired, who knew?

But yeah huge red flag. Run.

This and so, so much more.

11

u/jagerwick Oct 01 '22

Sounds almost exactly like my BPD ex; except she never admitted to it, but you could tell that's what she was doing.

→ More replies
→ More replies

3.7k

u/Hefty_Elderberry1992 Oct 01 '22

Ew.

1.1k

u/drfishdaddy Oct 01 '22

I say let ‘er rip. I’d be shocked if she can pull it off but hey, I’m into games!

545

u/AlpacaM4n Oct 01 '22

After you play the game, tell her she lost

738

u/oxP3ZINATORxo Oct 01 '22

Naw, when she walks in, text her to ask her which girl she is

360

u/myhairsreddit Oct 01 '22

Purposely walk by her and go up to the first woman you see behind her and eagerly say "Oh my God ____ it's you!"

105

u/ausgirlnikki2 Oct 01 '22

That’s a better game…

91

u/PsyGriff1 Oct 01 '22

Survivability 4.73%

4

u/OnlySleepsWithAFanOn Oct 01 '22

Not great, not terrible...

→ More replies
→ More replies

72

u/thankuhexed Oct 01 '22

Oh I like you.

→ More replies

187

u/I_Bin_Painting Oct 01 '22

Rock up in full drag and steal the show all night.

28

u/kitteh_floof Oct 01 '22

I second this

68

u/JesustheSpaceCowboy Oct 01 '22

Her self esteem: in shambles

→ More replies
→ More replies

68

u/R825DET Oct 01 '22

Let her do it and then burst out laughing when nothing happens 🤣 or is she going to arrive naked? To a fanfare?

25

u/Fit-Protection5341 Oct 01 '22

Could be likely she’s coming naked n bold

75

u/R825DET Oct 01 '22

I prefer my dates to come in italics but ok…

29

u/RepliesPantsless Oct 01 '22

You're into broads with scoliosis?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

273

u/Funderwoodsxbox Oct 01 '22

Lady version of “I have a massive 10 incher and when we meet you will instantly be flowing like a waterfall” then proceeds to put in a hard 3 1/2 minutes 4 inches at a time.

→ More replies

215

u/Jints488 Oct 01 '22

Stage 5 clinger

10

u/boobearybear Oct 01 '22

That would have been the best response. Or perhaps just a “Nah.

→ More replies
→ More replies

5.3k

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22

That whole thing is pretty delusional and self absorbed not just the last lines.

1.7k

u/R3xz Oct 01 '22

It's so cringe lmfao

808

u/gerryt32 Oct 01 '22

The more you read, the more she sounds like a female Dennis Reynolds. She is a 5 Star Woman!

252

u/Eletotem Oct 01 '22

She likes to use what she calls the D.E.N.I.S.E. system

429

u/Chim_Pansy Oct 01 '22 Silver Wholesome
  • D - Demonstrate Delusion
  • E - Engage Myself
  • N - Nurture Self-Image
  • I - Inspire Hopelessness
  • S - Separate Entirely (From Reality)
  • E - Enlarge Ego
→ More replies
→ More replies

84

u/jaymole Oct 01 '22

Only when you are clean will you know my power

20

u/tekjansen505 Oct 01 '22

This is the exact scene I was picturing reading that screenshot.

→ More replies

56

u/david6avila Oct 01 '22

I'M THE GOLDEN GOD

11

u/Dramatic_Carob_1060 Oct 01 '22

I agree, he must clean himself first before entering this one to feel her full power

→ More replies

177

u/archwin Oct 01 '22

It’s not a red flag, it’s a giant red banner

→ More replies
→ More replies

104

u/SuccotashConfident97 Oct 01 '22

Right? It's going to hit her pretty hard when she finds out she really isn't special and is just like everyone else.

95

u/OrindaSarnia Oct 01 '22

Yeah, it's never going to hit her.

Do you see all the comments saying Crazy=Good Sex? There will be enough guys willing to entertain her BS to get laid, that she will never believe there's anything wrong with her. Just something wrong with the guys who don't tolerate her.

25

u/SuccotashConfident97 Oct 01 '22

Oh yeah, it's wild. It's amazing how on Reddit there are a good amount of guys willing to validate her and make excuses for that. I was even talking to a person who was saying "if it's a game she plays it's a game she plays, no problem with that".

Like damn, I didn't know we were so fine with narcissists now.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/Thameus Oct 01 '22

Admirable candor. Imagine how common this fantasy probably is.

→ More replies
→ More replies

3.1k

u/Lil_Moody247 Oct 01 '22

She has definitely slashed a few tires before

626

u/Maleficent_Dot6954 Oct 01 '22

I’m sure she’s slashed more than just tires.

445

u/brickmadness Oct 01 '22 Helpful

What do you mean, like interest rates?

202

u/Maleficent_Dot6954 Oct 01 '22

Prices at the local K-Mart! It’s a blue light special!

13

u/Valyrian_Tinfoil Oct 01 '22

There’s a fire sale?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

917

u/pamformatge Oct 01 '22

You can steal the attention of an entire room but just lost mine

162

u/nopejake101 Oct 01 '22

You can steal the attention of an entire room if you rip a loud enough fart, she's not that special

23

u/esadatari Oct 01 '22

jake from the state farm out here spittin fax

→ More replies

38

u/porridgeeater500 Oct 01 '22

Meh if shes decently attractive he will probably oblige as maybe all guys shes met has. Thats probably were this comes from

→ More replies
→ More replies

1.8k

u/Octagon-Sally Oct 01 '22

This is super corny af. Is she writing a fan fiction?? looool I’m so confused. I don’t blame you for feeling totally thrown off. I read this twice and I can’t make sense out of it tbh.

349

u/Pales_the_fish_nerd Oct 01 '22

Yeah, wtf is this Netflix rom-com dialogue? Straight out of a dog’s ass

86

u/SixthSinEnvy Oct 01 '22

It actually sounds like she's trying to affect the "Dance" speech Jessica Lange gives in American Horror Story: Coven only she's much less eloquent in nature.

41

u/HapBeeBoop Oct 01 '22

This is what I came to comment. Funny how she missed the fact that when the monolog ends, she's left alone.

→ More replies
→ More replies

63

u/mora82 Oct 01 '22

“My game” lmao

18

u/tazert11 Oct 01 '22

Sounds like a Batman villain. Like isn't this what poison ivy does or something?

37

u/ShelSilverstain Oct 01 '22

And it's pretty weird not to realize that everyone turns to look when a new person enters a room

23

u/BankSpankTank Oct 01 '22

Maybe she's got some weird entrance technique too. Literally stomping her feet.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

1.0k

u/Spare_Possession_194 Oct 01 '22

My guy this is not self absorbed, this is psychotically delusional. Actually wtf

157

u/lilyluvish Oct 01 '22

Yeah, this definitely beyond the regular eye-rolling, obnoxiously self-absorbed TikTok types.

61

u/CountWubbula Oct 01 '22

I think you hit the nail on the bottom! This is the cream of the obnoxiously self-absorbed TikTok type crop.

Read her messages in the voice of Patrick Bateman… shivers

42

u/botrickbateman Oct 01 '22

On the way back to my apartment I stop at D’Agostino’s, where for dinner I buy two large bottles of Perrier, a six-pack of Coke Classic, a head of arugula, five medium-sized kiwis, a bottle of tarragon balsamic vinegar, a tin of crême fraiche, a carton of microwave tapas, a box of tofu and a white-chocolate candy bar I pick up at the checkout counter.


Bot. Ask me how I’m feeling. | Opt out

14

u/le_grey02 Oct 01 '22

How are you feeling?

21

u/botrickbateman Oct 01 '22

I feel light-headed.


Bot. Ask me how I got on at the gym today. | Opt out

16

u/le_grey02 Oct 01 '22

How did you get on at the gym today?

22

u/botrickbateman Oct 01 '22

Two thousand abdominal crunches and thirty minutes of rope jumping in the living room, the Wurlitzer jukebox blasting “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” over and over, even though I worked out in the gym today for close to two hours.


Bot. Ask me how I’m feeling. | Opt out

4

u/wispygeorge Oct 01 '22

How are you feeling?

9

u/botrickbateman Oct 01 '22

I feel light-headed.


Bot. Ask me what I’m listening to. | Opt out

→ More replies
→ More replies

15

u/amuricanswede Oct 01 '22

I’m so curious what reality is like with her. I’d risk the stabbing out of morbid curiosity

→ More replies
→ More replies

362

u/Eb992 Oct 01 '22

This in Italy is something we call "avercela d'oro" that in English you can translate in "thinking mine is made of gold" Beyond delusional

132

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

Damn Italian is so beautiful

81

u/TheClamSauce Oct 01 '22

Yeah in America we say dumb shit like "muh shit don't stink." Italy way nicer.

→ More replies
→ More replies

201

u/Melsapusspuss Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

Someone she dated once probably loved her talking like that and no one has told her since that it’s cringe so she thinks it’s normal and that every guy loves it. I dated a guy that only was with a few people prior to me and needed to be introduced to actual social skills (she could be a candidate to hear what’s more normal)…. Non judgmental honesty can be some people’s best medicine. Not saying you do that, our circumstances were just right.

24

u/AGoodSO Oct 01 '22

I think this would be a hit on some kink or roleplaying website. It has big r/IAmTheMainCharacter energy as far as Tindr goes, but she might have what it takes to be a successful dom

8

u/IAmMissingNow Oct 01 '22

I was going to say that this is exactly how a guy I dated used to talk. He was extremely into kink and fancied himself a dom. He had the confidence and talk down but not the rules nor the social skills to really solidify the role.

He’d be eaten alive at legit kink functions and I think she would be as well based on this circumstance.

→ More replies
→ More replies

281

u/JeepersBud Oct 01 '22

I just picture her “sauntering” in pretending to be Jessica rabbit, and everyone turning to stare at this clearly insane person who’s swaying their hips and arms around like a Guillermo Del Toro monster. “Ah yes. They are captivated by my beauty. So subtle. So sexy. I am divine.”

55

u/pinklisted1 Oct 01 '22

Exactly. Probably has this ridiculous look on her face and also people generally do glance when someone walks into a room it’s not a super power. If you look batshit crazy or are dressed provocatively they will probably glance longer. Eyeroll supreme.

698

u/-Ash-Trey- Oct 01 '22 Silver Bravo Grande!

Please do it, and laugh during and when she talks to you ask her "Was that the thing?".

269

u/kungfooweetie Oct 01 '22

“When does the game start?”

148

u/ryarger Oct 01 '22

“Are ya winning, son?”

→ More replies

90

u/OrwellianTimes1984 Oct 01 '22

This is the way to go. Doesn't get more petty.

21

u/dreexel_dragoon Oct 01 '22

Even better: look disinterested the whole time and act super interested in the waitress or bartender

19

u/Step-Father_of_Lies Oct 01 '22

Yeah as she walks in, motion "one sec" to her and then turn away to take a phone call.

→ More replies

385

u/Th1cc4chu Oct 01 '22

Did she mention this only happens in her delusions of grandiosity ?

453

u/Expensive_Cattle Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22 Silver Gold Take My Energy

You say that, but I know what she means because I also captivate everyone when I walk into any room, people can't take their eyes off me, can't stop smiling.

Of course, I do walk like Dr Zoidberg. Wooop woop woop. But still. Its exhilarating. I love my game.

24

u/severinoscopy Oct 01 '22

Do you have male jelly coming out the whazoo?

15

u/Adequate_Lizard Oct 01 '22

Well that is where it comes from.

→ More replies

41

u/Licorishlover Oct 01 '22

Plus people with this power don’t really need to spell it out

8

u/CaptainSplat Oct 01 '22

Is this a real thing? I don't think any stranger has ever caught my attention for more than a few seconds. Maybe not if you count TV/social media, but its kinda hard to divide focus if the camera is looking for you.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

166

u/TheMidnight711 Oct 01 '22

That is my game. I like to play my game...

"Diablo IV"

→ More replies

663

u/TheThoonenator Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

Either she’s super narcissistic, or she’s trying to bring you into her kink/fetish without ‘proper’ discussion.

(E. She says she wants to play a game and then goes into that, but without understanding it’s a kink and she’s setting a scene, this could be misconstrued. If you don’t know someone or have a dynamic with them, you likely don’t know their communication style, so being clear about it being a scene would stop it being read as a possible delusion.)

Could be fun. Could be awful. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

E. I wanted to give OP the benefit of the doubt that they just didn’t understand what was being put on the table. But seeing they have since shared additional screen captures but omitted everything that have said/chopped only specific sections, I don’t think they care and are just enjoying being a prick.

155

u/HoldMyJumex Oct 01 '22

Yeah, it seems like a kink in a way too.

→ More replies

142

u/fishsticks40 Oct 01 '22

It's absolutely a kink, this is the discussion, and personally I'd be into it

→ More replies
→ More replies

342

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

Ok, in an effort to disprove those of you who think this is just a silly/fun fantasy, and to entertain others, I come bearing gifts. I can't amend the post with additional images. This will probably get buried in all these comments but I tried.

Here are some other excerpts: https://imgur.com/a/AJl0h6s

118

u/FuzzyTomatillo Oct 01 '22

“I am not self involved” 🙃

→ More replies

148

u/kingdomheartsislight Oct 01 '22

This is very strange. I thought she was just being kinda horse girl-ish, maybe read too much fanfiction or romance novels. But this is a genuine lack of social skills. What are y’all, 22? 23?

178

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

I'm 32, she's 28.

191

u/kingdomheartsislight Oct 01 '22

I just gasped. Out loud. Scared the cat away. This is way too old to be acting like this. This isn’t self-absorbed, my guy. This is deeply underdeveloped social skills. I was ready to chalk it up to a young mindset. Let her g’head and find the guy that’s into this. This is…wow. Never seen this in all my days. I can’t get right.

47

u/CaptainSplat Oct 01 '22

I actually think her mindset isn't all that rare, well her fantasy in particular maybe. I think this is what happens when you go through life without your beliefs getting a hard rebuttal and having that belief shattered.

She has clearly never had someone take a serious attempt at breaking her delusion.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

65

u/wbrd Oct 01 '22

Take her to a gay bar. On drag night. Nobody will be interested and she'll be out sparkled 10 fold.

6

u/anegcan Oct 01 '22

That will humble her real quick lmao

→ More replies

11

u/undeadladybug Oct 01 '22

Thank you so much for adding more, OP!

I've never giggled so hard at a reddit post. Give me a bottle of wine and I would be so entertained listening to this girl talk about her magical sensualness lmao

→ More replies

17

u/studiohana Oct 01 '22

Unless she’s 11’ tall, or has a pet monkey who sits on her head all the time, I can absolutely promise that NO ONE THINKS ABOUT ANYONE ELSE FOR MORE THAN A SPLIT SECOND EVER. She’s unhinged for being so concerned with what everyone else is thinking, even more so for projecting her own ideas of what’s going on in peoples minds.

Take her to a bar, and stare right over her shoulder at something else the entire night. Even when she’s talking to you, make sure you’re looking obviously past her.

When she asks why you’re being weird, don’t tell her anything, just keep looking past her. Check your phone. Sprinkle in a couple “can you say that again, I wasn’t listening” “mhm cool” responses.

514

u/kes7571 Oct 01 '22

I'd play along. She's either f your brains out crazy or torture you to death crazy. I'd gamble but for the love of God don't let her tie you up. Yet.

391

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

She'd be the one tied up. And eh. I'd rather spend the money I would have used on the date on pot. Can't listen to that shit in person.

276

u/Manuag_86 Oct 01 '22

Go to the date and just don't look up and keep reading the menu when she comes in.

358

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

Stare at my phone the whole time and put it down with a dating app open when it's time to order.

239

u/Manuag_86 Oct 01 '22

Or ask her to bring you some wine when she arrives to make her think she is the waitress.

25

u/dallaschickensh1t Oct 01 '22

I think your suggestions are the way forwards

56

u/Slow-Analysis6522 Oct 01 '22

You're savage!

→ More replies

6

u/Chocolate_Senpai99 Oct 01 '22

My thoughts as well man. But honestly it's not worth your time

→ More replies
→ More replies

22

u/hong_chaa Oct 01 '22

Is she even hot btw? Or just an average chick?

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/pigfeathers Oct 01 '22

i think thats called a wedding

15

u/[deleted] Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

[deleted]

→ More replies

63

u/BaneReturns Oct 01 '22

What a fucking nerd. They think this shit sounds cool and unique in their head, but really it's no different than LARPing.

→ More replies

72

u/Vegan_Thenn Oct 01 '22

Just plain old narcissism. I've come to pity instead of loathing such folk.

→ More replies

37

u/nairagad Oct 01 '22 edited Oct 01 '22

She probably looks dumb to anyone who isn’t her lol

10

u/Satori_sama Oct 01 '22

I mean, that's a mantra you use when you have absolutely crap self-esteem so you try to gaslight yourself into thinking you have some worth.
Fake confidence till you make it. But to be so good that she actually believes her own BS, that's a skill in ofitself.

10

u/DukeOfBees Oct 01 '22

This sounds like a Dennis Reynolds monologue

57

u/Original-Sorbet Oct 01 '22

That's a whole package of mental health issues right there.

→ More replies

8

u/SecondLovatt Oct 01 '22

Doesn’t sound like a game more like the brag of a narcissist

8

u/no_usrnme Oct 01 '22

Just from what I can see of her prof pic Ik she’s lying

35

u/Landon1m Oct 01 '22

“If that’s the case then why are you on a dating app…?”

I know you’d lose the date for calling her on her BS but that doesn’t sound like someone is want to be with anyways

26

u/tangooceangolf Oct 01 '22

Sooo.... no to parcheesi?

→ More replies

27

u/kornelius581 Oct 01 '22

How did she sound before this point? The "game" just sounds like Roleplay to me - she's lining up an imagined scenario and wondering how you'll react in-game

53

u/u-and-whose-army Oct 01 '22

The whole time she sounded a little weird but before this I thought she was like the type who needs to charge her crystals in the sun or whatever. Read some of my other comments. She was dead serious. This isn't role play. She would continually tell me how she exudes an undeniable sexual energy and is 'a whole vibe' throughout the convo lol.

→ More replies
→ More replies

25

u/pinkelephants777 Oct 01 '22

I would scream laugh if I ever got a message like that holy shit

45

u/lazylazylemons Oct 01 '22

Paragraphs of melodrama and self-aggrandizing met with "hahaha". 👏👏👏

8

u/JGPNZ Oct 01 '22

Narcissist

46

u/Lady_Hurricane Oct 01 '22

Sounds like a poorly written woman character by a male author (sans mention of breasts) lol

61

u/VictorySwimming8678 Oct 01 '22

See, girls can be creepy too! Ick!

6

u/WolfInArmor Oct 01 '22

This is some Master-class narcissism.

16

u/Mikey_Knows_Now Oct 01 '22

Judging from what I can make out in the photo she defo deluded and has a false sense of grandeur

→ More replies

32

u/pinzinella Oct 01 '22

Delusional much, living in a high school drama show playing the narcissistic character.

I'd meet her just to ignore her entrance completely. :p You know, for games!

22

u/TheGr8andPowerfulOz Oct 01 '22

I think you’re going on a date with Jigsaw. The next game will be worse.